human he is and the more he actualizes himself"
"The bottom line is that people who think too much about themselves and who are preoccupied with their own desires – or their own troubles – are not very happy."
So... I received some stellar feedback from my last blog post, however nobody felt comfortable posting on the blog.... which I found in itself to be interesting. Since then I've been thinking quite a bit about unconditional love. By this, I don't just mean "romantic relationships" but also friends, family, strangers... those you feel unconditional love from.
I have to say that I have been searching for this since moving to the West Coast. I am finding lately that many of the relationships in my life feel quite conditional. I know that most people here want unconditional love, but there just always seems to be some walls to interacting with others.
I'm not used to this.....
To give you an example of the culture in which I was raised.... my whole extended family is from Newfoundland. Newfoundland in my opinion has the most beautiful culture in Canada and soon you will see why. So a prime example is the Newfie tradition of Mummering. Mummering is when locals dress up quite funny, with the objective to not be recognizable. Mummers go from house to house and are let in for a drink and a snack usually..... then they leave, never to be known of their identity. I remember people coming to our house and laughing and chatting for awhile, and a cold drink of rum, and after they left I asked "who was that?" to which my parents replied "we're not quite sure". My point is that trust and friendship is there immediately, enough to share your prized rum even! In other cultures in Canada, there is this sense that you need to earn your way to trust and friendship which is done by placing walls I think... but maybe I'm wrong and PLEASE challenge me on this!
Love is all around..... we just need to follow it, grab on to it, and cherish it....
Here is an example of newfie mummers, again stolen from a talented internet photographer... thank you! :)
5 comments:
Walls. From a historical and architectural standpoint, are physical manifestations of a psychological need for security.
The need for security is a defensive reflex based on a perceived external threat.
Fear, is essentially what leads us to build walls. Fear of attack, fear of the elements, fear of the unknown.
For the people who were not so lucky to have grown up in a family, or a community, or culture that has walls that are so permeable to all the fear and unknown, is it fair to assume that we've built the walls only to EARN the external love.
Is that a capitalist assumption of the commodification of something that should be free.
Do we not dwell in a socio-political culture that has co-opted the most basic of human truths (unconditional love) and packaged it up with the latest blockbuster megadrama, and inserted it alongside the most recent pandemic scare.
You cannot assume to purchase love, symbolically or financially.
Like a seed, its something that must be planted... within the weed choked soil of the current state of affairs and tended to, until it sprouts, and grows and then blooms.
Within the acorn is a mighty oak.
The tip of this iceberg barely floats above the ocean.
beautiful, inspiring comment shane.. thank you :)
"Your task is not to seek for love, but merely to seek and find all the barriers within yourself that you have built against it." - Rumi
Glad to see you in the bloggin world. Nice post!
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Firstly, the mummering thing made me laugh for a long time. I had never heard of it and to be honest it is a pretty hilarious thing. Hilarious but amazing. A real testament to newfoundland's colorful and kind people.
While I think you are right about nothing like the existing elsewhere in Canada (Newfoundland is a special place), I think elements of that exist all over Canada (and in other parts of the world, while i was in Oman I would often be offered tea by strangers while walking down the street).
If you have ever been in a big city during a power outage or giant snow storm it is pretty amazing to see total strangers band together.
Great post Erin.
DB
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